Patricia works your New Relic.
Ask her in Slack. She reads the APM data, runs the NRQL you would have written, and tells you whether the client's app is healthy or heading for trouble.
@Pati Fernbrook shipped a new checkout last night. Did the app hold up, or did anything get worse?
The deployment marker is there from 11:40pm, so I compared before and after. It mostly held, with one regression:
- Apdex on the web app dipped from 0.94 to 0.88 right after the release
- The checkout transaction is the culprit, throughput steady but response time up 40%
- Error rate stayed flat at 0.2%, so nothing is throwing, it is just slower
- No alert policy fired because the threshold is set higher than this dip
Pull the checkout transaction numbers so I can flag it to their team.
Done. The Apdex dip, the response-time breakdown on the checkout transaction, and the before-and-after against the deploy marker, written up in Brightside's format ready to send.
Patricia + New relic
What she does in New relic.
Real actions she takes on your say-so, not a list of API endpoints.
Check whether the app is healthy
She reads APM, browser, and infrastructure entities across everything you connect and comes back with Apdex, throughput, and error rate in plain words, not a dashboard to interpret yourself.
Run the NRQL you would have written
Ask a question about response time, transactions, or errors and she runs the NRQL query against your data and returns the answer, so nobody has to remember the query language.
Tie a slowdown to a deploy
She reads deployment markers and compares before and after, so a regression is pinned to the release that caused it instead of blamed on a hunch.
Read the alert policies
Which conditions exist, what fired, and what stayed quiet, read on demand, so you know whether a dip went unnoticed because it was fine or because the threshold was too loose.
Read the dashboards on demand
The dashboards your team already built, read and summarized in the channel, so the telemetry reaches Slack without anyone opening the tab to screenshot a chart.
Work across every client account
One connection reaches the accounts you monitor. Every client's apps, hosts, and alerts stay walled off from the rest.
Say it like you'd say it
Things to ask her on day one.
Did Fernbrook's app hold up after last night's checkout release?
Run the NRQL for p95 response time on the orders transaction this week
Did Apdex drop on Northwind after their last deploy?
Which alert conditions are set on the client's web app, and did any fire?
Pull the checkout transaction numbers for their dev team in our format
Better together
New relic is one hand. Give her the other.
Patricia's value compounds when the whole workflow lives with her, not just one tool.
Setup
New relic, connected in minutes.
Add Patricia to Slack
She joins your workspace like any teammate. Two minutes, no engineering.
Today at 9:00 AM
Connect New Relic
One connection reaches the accounts you monitor. She gets only the access you approve, and you can disconnect her anytime.
New relic connected
Ask
Mention @Pati with the question. She reads the telemetry, runs the NRQL, and comes back with the answer, not a dashboard link.
@Pati Did Fernbrook's app hold up after last night's checkout release?
On it.
FAQ
New relic questions, answered.
What can Patricia actually do in New Relic?
She reads APM, browser, and infrastructure entities, alert policies and conditions, dashboards, and deployment markers across the accounts you connect, and she runs NRQL queries against your data. In practice: she tells you whether a client's app is healthy and what regressed, in plain words.
Does she change anything in New Relic?
No. New Relic is a read integration for her. She reads entities, runs NRQL, and reports on alerts and deploys; she does not create or delete alert policies, dashboards, or conditions. Reading and reporting are the whole job here.
What access does she need?
Read access to the accounts you connect, through New Relic's official flow, the same way other approved tools do. She only sees the accounts you give her, and disconnecting takes one click.
We keep a separate account per client. Does that stay separate?
Yes, that is the setup she expects at an agency. Connect the accounts you want her in and every client's apps, hosts, and alerts stay walled off from the rest.
What does the New Relic integration cost?
Nothing extra. Every integration is included, on every plan.
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Everybody deserves a Patricia.
She handles the mess. You keep the clients. See what changes in your first week.
Pick a time that works for you. You get a live walkthrough of Patricia on real agency work, and every question answered.